In Love? It's Not Enough to Keep a Marriage

Found on Yahoo News...Study Finds

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.
It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.
And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

#gno Tuesday Topic

Below was one of the topics of discussion for Twitter's #gno (girls night out). Marriage Zone was the guest tweeter for MomItforward hosted by Carissa. Each Tuesday evening many people (not just women) from Twitter have a chat session related to that week's subject.

If, you are ready to learn, laugh, expand your knowledge and have a rip-roaring good time then, rsvp for the next #gno. It is a good time to connect, ask questions, help others, and learn from experts on a topic. #gno is taking Twitter chat sessions by storm! Once you try it you will be hooked!

Marriage Zone's Topic ~ Relationships

The hardest part about having children is the sheer wealth of time, emotion and energy you invest in them. Don't doubt for an instant that your children are worth it, but there is a new type of stress that your relationship will undergo as you transform from couple to parents. Parents lose sleep, parents are always busy, and there is always something for parents to be doing. Parents rarely get to sleep in and in some cases, rarely get to go out anymore.If you discover that you are spending less and less time with your spouse and that your romantic gestures have been reduced to a half-wave as you pass the coffee in the morning, then it's time to re-ignite the intimacy in your relationship.

The first thing to remember about being a couple is that couples need quality time together and that begins with setting aside time for each other that isn't about work, bills, household chores or your child. If your infant is too young or you aren't comfortable with going out for a long period of time; make plans for a date evening at home. As soon as the baby is down for the night or their longest sleep cycle – four or five hours – share a nice dinner, either ordered in or prepared together and watch a movie or just talk. Don't worry about the dishes, the laundry, and the work that you brought home from the office – those four or five hours are for the two of you alone. Turn off the phone; let your friends and family know that this is a 'don't show up' night.

Tips To Enjoy!

• Have a picnic. It can be in your house or at the park as long at you won't be disturbed. If the picnic is at home during the night then lay down a blanket with the lights off and light some candles. Finger-foods or the two of you have your favorite sandwiches with your favorite sides. Be sure to include wine glasses even if you don't drink alcohol, you can fill with soda. It is all about setting the atmosphere. Don't forget the music.
  



• Have a romantic treasure hunt. Hide notes in various places about a clue to find with each one leading to another clue. Make the final clue be you! This can also be done with each clue leading to diferent stores to pick up things on the treasure list. Then, ending at home for the final clue.
  



• Try exploring each other naked and blind-folded
  



• Go bowling. Pretend you are the only people there. Dance whenever you get a strike (or even hit a pin). Do 'trick rolls' together. Make up funny names for each other to put on the overhead screen. Kiss each other between every turn. If you want to make this date romantic as well as fun call ahead and reserve a lane. Cover the area with rose petals and have one of the tables set up with a rose and a nice dinner.
  



• Set-up a pamper night at home after kid(s) go to bed.
  



• Take a shower together.
  



• Put lotion on your spouse or have your spouse put lotion on you after a shower/bath.
  



• Take time to think about each other, then sit together and write a letter to each other. Write from the heart, tell them what you appreciate about them and what you really like about them. Once you start writing it will just flow. Then exchange letters and read them together. This will bring you closer together...writing is easier than speaking sometimes.
  



• If possible go wine tasing.
  



• Go to your local city find the tallest building go to the top and just relax while looking at the city sky line.
  



• Take photographs together - Get a couple of disposable cameras and go some place to take pictures. Then once the pictures are developed compare how different they are! Then, make a scrapbook out of the photos.

Remember love tokens – those little gifts of affection that you used to give each other? Do that again. If you both work all week, take turns giving the other one a morning to sleep in and breakfast in bed on the weekends. If you like to write love notes, leave them for each other to find. The most important thing to re-igniting romance in your relationship is to remember – you love this person and their smile is what you are working for. So, pick up a single carnation or a box of their favorite candies or even just a movie that you'll enjoy – be thoughtful, be creative and most of all, remember to be in love.

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