Tuesday, July 14, 2009

In Love? It's Not Enough to Keep a Marriage

Found on Yahoo News...Study Finds

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.
It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.
And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

#gno Tuesday Topic

Below was one of the topics of discussion for Twitter's #gno (girls night out). Marriage Zone was the guest tweeter for MomItforward hosted by Carissa. Each Tuesday evening many people (not just women) from Twitter have a chat session related to that week's subject.

If, you are ready to learn, laugh, expand your knowledge and have a rip-roaring good time then, rsvp for the next #gno. It is a good time to connect, ask questions, help others, and learn from experts on a topic. #gno is taking Twitter chat sessions by storm! Once you try it you will be hooked!

Marriage Zone's Topic ~ Relationships

The hardest part about having children is the sheer wealth of time, emotion and energy you invest in them. Don't doubt for an instant that your children are worth it, but there is a new type of stress that your relationship will undergo as you transform from couple to parents. Parents lose sleep, parents are always busy, and there is always something for parents to be doing. Parents rarely get to sleep in and in some cases, rarely get to go out anymore.If you discover that you are spending less and less time with your spouse and that your romantic gestures have been reduced to a half-wave as you pass the coffee in the morning, then it's time to re-ignite the intimacy in your relationship.

The first thing to remember about being a couple is that couples need quality time together and that begins with setting aside time for each other that isn't about work, bills, household chores or your child. If your infant is too young or you aren't comfortable with going out for a long period of time; make plans for a date evening at home. As soon as the baby is down for the night or their longest sleep cycle – four or five hours – share a nice dinner, either ordered in or prepared together and watch a movie or just talk. Don't worry about the dishes, the laundry, and the work that you brought home from the office – those four or five hours are for the two of you alone. Turn off the phone; let your friends and family know that this is a 'don't show up' night.

Tips To Enjoy!

  • Have a picnic. It can be in your house or at the park as long at you won't be disturbed. If the picnic is at home during the night then lay down a blanket with the lights off and light some candles. Finger-foods or the two of you have your favorite sandwiches with your favorite sides. Be sure to include wine glasses even if you don't drink alcohol, you can fill with soda. It is all about setting the atmosphere. Don't forget the music.

  • Have a romantic treasure hunt. Hide notes in various places about a clue to find with each one leading to another clue. Make the final clue be you! This can also be done with each clue leading to diferent stores to pick up things on the treasure list. Then, ending at home for the final clue.

  • Try exploring each other naked and blind-folded

  • Go bowling. Pretend you are the only people there. Dance whenever you get a strike (or even hit a pin). Do 'trick rolls' together. Make up funny names for each other to put on the overhead screen. Kiss each other between every turn. If you want to make this date romantic as well as fun call ahead and reserve a lane. Cover the area with rose petals and have one of the tables set up with a rose and a nice dinner.

  • Set-up a pamper night at home after kid(s) go to bed.

  • Take a shower together.

  • Put lotion on your spouse or have your spouse put lotion on you after a shower/bath.

  • Take time to think about each other, then sit together and write a letter to each other. Write from the heart, tell them what you appreciate about them and what you really like about them. Once you start writing it will just flow. Then exchange letters and read them together. This will bring you closer together...writing is easier than speaking sometimes.

  • If possible go wine tasing.

  • Go to your local city find the tallest building go to the top and just relax while looking at the city sky line.

  • Take photographs together - Get a couple of disposable cameras and go some place to take pictures. Then once the pictures are developed compare how different they are! Then, make a scrapbook out of the photos.

Remember love tokens – those little gifts of affection that you used to give each other? Do that again. If you both work all week, take turns giving the other one a morning to sleep in and breakfast in bed on the weekends. If you like to write love notes, leave them for each other to find. The most important thing to re-igniting romance in your relationship is to remember – you love this person and their smile is what you are working for. So, pick up a single carnation or a box of their favorite candies or even just a movie that you'll enjoy – be thoughtful, be creative and most of all, remember to be in love.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Something Incredible Has Arrived

I just became a shareholder in me2everyone and I never had to pay a single penny for the shares! It can only be described as the gold-rush for 2009. This company is going to be huge and shares will soar in value over the coming months! You can register for free and it never has to cost you a single penny!

me2everyone is going to be a cool new virtual world where you can meet friends, chat, shop, play, watch videos, create an art gallery, open a virtual newspaper, play the free inworld lottery and make money from your own online store! You and everyone you know make the decisions, shape the world, create real incomes and share in the profits. It’s a new place where you meet new people or invite your friends. Learn new skills or expand your business. Find the love of your life or help the planet.

Membership is free and every member automatically becomes a shareholder in me2everyone Limited. Personally I have WRITE YOUR SHARES HERE shares in the venture and I am going going to increase my shares very soon. This is an excellent chance for all of us to make some real progress in 2009 and beyond! Please do not miss it.

If you are looking for something really good in 2009: something that changes your view on the world, then you really have to spend just one minute and look at this website. Me2Everyone.com

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Happy Tree-Versary!

The Trees Remember! What a great site I came across through Twitter.

What a awesome way to
celebrate your anniversary! A couple can have a tree planted (for a small price) in honor of your special day. Trees Remember offer four Anniversary Tree Planting Options: Anniversary Tree, Anniversary Grove, Anniversary Half-Acre, and Anniversary Acre.

You can give a unique, creative, and socially-aware eco-gift, which benefits not just the person who receives it, but everybody on the planet!

Reasons to go green:

  • Flowers fade and die
  • Cards get tossed away
  • Trees last a lifetime

This is a perfect gift solution for 'green' couples. So, head on over and help make your love greener!

Happy Tree-versary

The Priapic Pedicure

P Words For A Good Marriage: Polish, Pamper & Porn?

Today’s post originated with the idea that I should write an article about pampering. Pampering ourselves and pampering our loved ones. (In this exact instant it is dawning on me that the brand of diapers Pampers, was probably chosen because of the meaning of the word pamper.) I love it when I have those light bulb moments! Back on track. I wanted to write about pampering for a few reasons.

1. I stumbled across a thought provoking article on the subject of one way a husband can pamper his wife. (Keep reading).

2. People’s financial situations this holiday season will require many to cut back on spending, so pampering someone can be a meaningful, inexpensive gift to give without breaking the bank.

3. Women are pulled in so many directions that the stress of everyday life is truly taking a toll on our mental and physical health, and pampering is in order!

Studies show that even when mothers match their husbands in hours worked at a job outside the home, the brunt of the child rearing workload is still handled primarily by the mother inside the home. (This is not to say all husbands are lazy. Sometimes men are willing to help, but their wives don’t let them, because of a controlling, protective nature. And sometimes the kids are just at an age where they need more of mom’s skills over dad’s.) Regardless of the reason, the end result is a bunch of stressed out, over-worked women with no down time for themselves.

That must change! BUT, as strongly as I believe that, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about an article I read by our friends over at Marriage-zone.com, while doing research for this topic. Here’s the background: Dude wants to show his wife how much he loves and cares about her; dude paints her toenails. (Not just once, but regularly).

Even though the guy was not saying a man should paint his wife’s toes as a means to getting sexual gratification for himself, I feel compelled to turn the idea into a porn video in my mind. I imagine the pedicure as pure foreplay by seeing myself panty-less, in a skirt, as my man looks up with my big toe in his hand, examining the nail as he asks sultrily, “is this too short, or do you want it longer?”

I think the reason I feel such a need to take an innocent toe polishing event and turn it nasty is because quite frankly, I’m sexist, and part of me feels turned off by the notion of my man in the role of pedicurist. Also, I am certain that the type of men I tend to be attracted to would equate such nail polishing endeavors with their own castration. In fact, about halfway through the article, I think I channeled every one of my ex-boyfriends’ priapic-obsessed spirits and heard all of their voices saying a four letter word that begins with H and ends with O and rhymes with SLOW MO.

My unenlightened self tended to agree with their imaginary voices. I was certain that if any man of mine pranced down the hall with my bottle of Shimmering Cranberry red and my buffer and file, hollering, “I’m ready to paint your toenails! Now bring those cute little tootsies over here!”, I might very well want to flee the building as if it were on fire. A flaming fire. Indeed, I unapologetically admit that some part of my brain (the sexist part) would register the word “flamer”, if I were to find myself in this situation with my husband.

But after pondering the article awhile, my enlightened brain took over, and I started thinking about just how nice it would be to look down my bare legs to my magenta toes and see the face of my hot, hunk of a future husband instead of the Asian girl who, 30 minutes earlier, angrily barked “Pick-a-cullah” at me. (In addition to being sexist, I am a labor-racial stereotyper).

I also thought about how much I have loved the touch of any boyfriend’s hands on my feet, as well as the sight of their big, strong, masculine fingers juxtaposed against my helpless little soles, so why not expand this to include a steady, veiny hand applying a light coating of coral or crimson to the ends of my little piggies, followed by my man blowing on my toes to dry them? (The irony is not lost on me, that women blow on men’s appendages all the time in order to cause the opposite effect).

There I go again creating the porn video, but in all seriousness, I imagine that the sheer giving nature of the toe job by a man, might be such an aphrodisiac for her, that it could instigate the act that rhymes with it by his woman.

I really believe there is a way for a guy to keep his macho, superhero status and still perform a typically feminine gesture. In fact, it may be the dichotomy of the two that makes the idea appealing. If a masculine guy is secure enough in his manhood, and good enough with his hands to apply pastel, glossy sheen to my nubs, and save me from the toe polishing experience I describe in Men Are Oblivious, then I think that would be a huge turn on.

I guess the way I look at it now, is that a lot of men can give you an orgasm of the usual variety, but it takes an extra special man to bring your feet to orgasm. To steal from Paris, that’s hot! So, if any of you have become convinced enough that husband as pedicurist is a good idea, I suggest broaching the topic after plying him with copious amounts of alcohol, and if he goes for it, then buy some of these appropriately named shades of my favorite OPI polish. Any line which has colors named Madame President, Because I said So, and Queen Of Everything, is my kind of brand!

Now go have fun with your adventurous, new weekly porn shooting session…I mean toe polishing session.
This article was re-published with permission by Suzy at Fit After Thirty. Please check out her site it is full of fun and interesting topics.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Picking Wine for a Turkey Dinner

What kind of wine should you serve with turkey?

It can be quite a challenge to find something to complement the strong flavors of sweet yet cranberry sauce and savory stuffings. Try a light, fruity red with a touch of acid. Popular picks include a fruity Zinfandel or an earthy Pinot Noir. If you’d rather serve your meal with white wine, pick a Sauvignon. It has a good acidity level with a touch of herbs. Many recommend the Dry Riesling, which has a delicate sweetness that complements the food.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

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